Abandonment Issues Test: See How Strongly You Fear Being Left
20 original statements look at how strongly you expect to be left, how you behave when that fear shows up, and where the pattern may trace back to. Get an instant result and an optional PDF summary.
Reviewed by Michael Callans, MSW 
Abandonment Issues Test is a free, confidential 20-question self-assessment, educational screener · not a diagnostic test. It takes about 6 minutes, runs entirely in your browser, and gives you a plain-language score across 3 interpretation bands plus an optional in-depth report. It is an educational screening, not a diagnosis.
Fear of abandonment has a shape, not just a feeling
Fear of being left rarely shows up as one clean symptom. It shows up as anticipation (bracing for people to leave), behavior (clinging, testing, or leaving first), and a self-view shaped by earlier losses. This screener looks at all three, so your result reflects the actual pattern, not just a single yes-or-no question.
Original, behavior-based items
20 statements written for this test, covering how you anticipate loss, how you act when the fear shows up, and where the pattern may have started.
Three linked areas
Fear and anticipation, behavior, and origins and self-view, shown separately so you can see whether your pattern leans more toward worry, action, or belief.
Context, not overlap confusion
Abandonment sensitivity shares ground with anxious attachment and rejection sensitivity, and can sometimes travel with BPD. We explain the differences instead of blurring them.
| Feature | Typical free quiz | Psychology.com |
|---|---|---|
| Separates fear, behavior, and origins | No | Yes, 3 areas |
| Explains overlap with attachment style | Rarely | Yes, with a section |
| Explains overlap with BPD, without equating them | No | Yes |
| Concrete self-soothing and therapy guidance | Vague | Specific steps |
| Clinician-reviewed interpretation | Rarely | Yes, clinician reviewed |
| Answers stay on your device | Often tracked | Scored in your browser; we only receive anonymous completion counts unless you ask for a PDF or report |
How scoring works
Answers are scored 0–80 in total. Your result falls into one of 3 bands:
| Score | Band | What it suggests |
|---|---|---|
| 0–26 | Low abandonment sensitivity | Your answers suggest fear of being left plays a fairly small role in how you approach relationships right now. That's a solid foundation to build on. |
| 27–53 | Moderate abandonment sensitivity | Your answers suggest fear of abandonment shows up in real, noticeable ways, in how you anticipate loss, how you act, or both. |
| 54–80 | Strong abandonment sensitivity | Your answers suggest fear of being left plays a large role in how you think, feel, and act in close relationships. That's a heavy pattern to carry, and it responds well to support. |
Where Fear of Abandonment Comes From
Fear of abandonment usually traces back to an early experience of loss or inconsistency: a parent who left, a caregiver whose attention or mood you couldn't predict, a death, a divorce, or a betrayal that arrived without warning. John Bowlby's foundational work on attachment describes how children build an internal expectation of whether the people they depend on will be reliably available, and that expectation tends to carry forward into adult relationships (Bowlby, 1969). When early caregiving felt unpredictable, the nervous system can learn to treat closeness itself as something that might disappear, which is why the fear can persist even in relationships that are, by any outside measure, stable and safe.
Betrayal in adulthood, such as infidelity or a sudden breakup, can also plant or deepen this fear on its own, even without a difficult childhood behind it. Wherever it started, the fear is a learned expectation, not a character flaw, and learned expectations can shift with new, consistent experience and, often, with therapy.
Abandonment Issues vs. Anxious Attachment, Rejection Sensitivity, and BPD
These terms overlap but aren't identical. Anxious attachment is a broader relationship style, one of the patterns described in attachment theory, involving a strong desire for closeness paired with worry about a partner's availability; fear of abandonment is often a core feature of it. Rejection sensitivity, studied by Downey and Feldman (1996), is the tendency to anxiously expect rejection and to read even ambiguous behavior as proof of it, which can fuel abandonment fears specifically inside a relationship that already exists. Fear of abandonment is also one of the diagnostic features of borderline personality disorder, where it tends to be more intense and often comes with rapid mood shifts and unstable self-image (Levy et al., 2005), but plenty of people who score high on this screener do not meet criteria for BPD at all.
If you want a broader read on your relationship style, our Attachment Style Test is a natural companion to this one. If rejection in general, not just abandonment, is the bigger theme for you, the Rejection Sensitivity Test may fit better, and our BPD Test looks at the broader set of patterns linked to that diagnosis.
What Actually Helps
Three things tend to make the biggest difference. First, consistent, secure relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or therapeutic, slowly teach the nervous system a new expectation through repeated proof that someone can stay close without leaving. Second, therapy, particularly approaches that address attachment patterns directly, gives you a structured place to understand the fear's origins and practice new responses to it. Third, self-soothing skills reduce the intensity of the spiral in the moment, so a partner's silence or a canceled plan doesn't automatically feel like proof of the worst.
None of this means suppressing the fear or pretending it isn't real. It means building enough evidence, inside and outside yourself, that closeness doesn't have to end the way it did before. If childhood experiences with a parent are a big part of the picture, our Childhood Emotional Neglect Test and Trust Issues Test can help you map the fuller pattern, and our Codependency Test looks at the over-giving side of this that sometimes travels alongside abandonment fear.
Methodology & sources
The 20 items on this test were written for Psychology.com and are not drawn from a published clinical instrument. They cover three linked areas: fear and anticipation (expecting to be left, reading distance as rejection), behavior (clinging, testing, pre-emptive leaving, over-giving), and origins and self-view (earlier losses, feeling unworthy of staying). Each item is rated from 0 (never) to 4 (almost always), and the three area scores are shown separately so you can see where your pattern concentrates, alongside a single combined score.
This is a house-made educational screener, and the three-area grouping is our own framework built around the research on attachment and rejection sensitivity described above, not a validated clinical subscale. Fear of abandonment overlaps with several diagnosable conditions, including some anxiety disorders and borderline personality disorder, but this screener cannot diagnose any of them; only a licensed clinician conducting a full evaluation can do that.
References
- Bowlby J. Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. New York: Basic Books; 1969.
- Ainsworth MDS, Blehar MC, Waters E, Wall S. Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum; 1978.
- Downey G, Feldman SI. Implications of rejection sensitivity for intimate relationships. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1996;70(6):1327-1343.
- Levy KN, Meehan KB, Weber M, Reynoso J, Clarkin JF. Attachment and borderline personality disorder: implications for psychotherapy. Psychopathology. 2005;38(2):64-74. doi.org/10.1159/000084813
Cite this source
Psychology.com. (2026, September 23). Abandonment Issues Test. Psychology.com. https://psychology.com/tests/abandonment-issues
Abandonment Issues Test FAQ
What causes abandonment issues?
Most commonly an early loss or inconsistency, like a parent leaving, unpredictable caregiving, a death, or a divorce, though betrayals in adulthood such as infidelity can also create or deepen this fear. It's a learned expectation about whether people stay, not a fixed personality trait.
Is fear of abandonment the same as anxious attachment?
They overlap heavily but aren't identical. Anxious attachment is a broader relationship style that includes a strong need for closeness and worry about a partner's availability; fear of abandonment is often one core feature of it. Our Attachment Style Test looks at the wider pattern.
Does a high score mean I have BPD?
No. Fear of abandonment is one feature of borderline personality disorder, but it also shows up in anxious attachment, rejection sensitivity, and plenty of people with no diagnosable condition at all. Only a licensed clinician can assess BPD, using a full evaluation, not a single test.
Is this test a diagnosis?
No. It's for education and self-reflection only. If your result concerns you, or abandonment fears are affecting your relationships or daily life, consider talking with a therapist who has experience with attachment patterns.
Can fear of abandonment actually get better?
Yes. Consistent, secure relationships, therapy, and self-soothing skills all help the nervous system build a new expectation over time. It tends to change gradually through repeated experience rather than all at once.
Is the test really confidential?
Yes. The test runs and is scored in your browser, and your individual answers are never sent to us. We count completions anonymously, and if you request the free PDF or a report we receive your summary scores with the email you give us, never your answers. No account is needed.
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