Validation Practice Worksheet for Adults
Practice showing that you understand someone’s experience while keeping your own judgment and boundaries.
About this tool
Validation communicates that an experience is understandable. Agreement means accepting a claim or position as correct. You can acknowledge disappointment about a decision without agreeing that the decision was unfair. This worksheet uses Linehan’s DBT validation framework to prepare an actual response, rather than a general affirmation.
The six levels move from attention and accurate reflection to tentative understanding of unspoken experience, understanding learned or personal causes, recognizing what fits the current facts, and relating authentically as equals. They are complementary ways of responding, not a requirement to say six things in sequence. The practice sections explain each level in ordinary language.
Completed example: A coworker says, “My proposal was not chosen. Nobody takes my work seriously.” Acknowledgment: “You put a lot into the proposal, and this decision is disappointing.” Agreement would be: “Nobody here takes you seriously,” which is more than you know. You could check the unspoken part with, “Are you also worried about the next review?” and ask, “Would you like me to listen, or look over the feedback with you?”
Another example: A friend is disappointed that you cannot join a weekend trip. You can say, “You were looking forward to us going together. I cannot travel that weekend.” The acknowledgment and the limit can both stand. If a response misses the mark, invite a correction and use what you learn instead of arguing that your first interpretation was right.
References
- Linehan MM. DBT Skills Training Manual. 2nd ed. Guilford Press; 2015.
Validation Practice Worksheet for Adults FAQ
Can I validate a feeling when I doubt the explanation?
Yes. Name the experience you can reasonably recognize while leaving the disputed explanation open. For example, disappointment after a decision does not establish what the decision-maker intended.
How are levels 4 and 5 different?
Level 4 considers why this particular person might react this way given their learning or personal circumstances. Level 5 recognizes a response that fits the current facts. Do not invent a history to explain away a reasonable present concern.
Do I have to use all six levels?
No. Start with attention and accurate understanding, then use what fits. A brief response that matches the moment is more useful than working through a checklist aloud.
What if the person says I have misunderstood?
Pause and ask what you missed. Revise the response using their correction; a tentative guess is an invitation to clarify, not something they must accept.