Am I in Love? Test
A warm, confidential self-reflection built on the science of love, drawing on Sternberg's triangular theory and the research on passionate versus companionate love. Find out whether your feelings lean toward deep romantic love, early infatuation, comfortable companionship, or something still taking shape, with a thoughtful result and a professional PDF report.
Love is more than one feeling
Psychologists who study love agree it is not a single switch that flips on or off. It is a blend of different ingredients that grow at different speeds. This test looks at the mix behind what you are feeling rather than forcing a simple yes or no.
Intimacy and closeness
The warmth, trust, and feeling of being deeply known that sits at the heart of lasting love. In Sternberg's model this is one of the three building blocks, and it tends to grow steadily over time.
Passion and longing
The intense pull, butterflies, and preoccupation that mark passionate love and early infatuation. Exciting and real, it usually burns hottest early and then settles, which is normal, not a warning sign.
Commitment and direction
The sense that you are choosing this person and want to keep choosing them. This is the ingredient that turns a spark into something companionate and durable.
| Feature | Typical free quiz | Psychology.com |
|---|---|---|
| Grounded in love research | Loosely | Yes, Sternberg & Hatfield |
| Separates love from infatuation | Rarely | Yes, distinct profiles |
| Recognizes companionate love | No | Yes, as its own result |
| Allows for still figuring it out | No | Yes, an honest fourth option |
| Warm, non-leading items | Often leading | Yes, agreement format |
| Clinician-reviewed language | Rarely | Yes, reviewed |
| Confidential (no data sent) | Often tracked | Runs in your browser |
Methodology & sources
This test draws on two well-known strands of love research. The first is Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love (1986), which proposes that love is made of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment, and that different combinations produce different kinds of love. The second is Elaine Hatfield and Ellen Berscheid's distinction between passionate love, the intense, absorbing longing common early on, and companionate love, the deep affection and attachment that grows between people whose lives are entwined. Our items are written in plain, warm language to reflect these ideas, using a standard agreement format, and the engine sorts your answers into four reflective profiles rather than a single score.
This is offered for self-reflection and fun, not as a clinical or diagnostic instrument. Feelings change, and they often look different a month or a year from now. No quiz can tell you whether you are in love or what to do next. Only you can define what your feelings mean, and the most honest answer is sometimes that you are still finding out. Read your result as a mirror, not a verdict.
- Sternberg RJ. A Triangular Theory of Love. Psychol Rev. 1986;93(2):119–135.
- Hatfield E, Walster GW. A New Look at Love. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley; 1978.
- Hatfield E, Rapson RL. Love, Sex, and Intimacy: Their Psychology, Biology, and History. New York: HarperCollins; 1993.
- Berscheid E. Searching for the Meaning of Love. In: Sternberg RJ, Weis K, eds. The New Psychology of Love. New Haven: Yale University Press; 2006:171–183.
Am I in Love? Test FAQ
What is the difference between love and infatuation?
Infatuation is the early, intense, often all-consuming pull toward someone, heavy on passion and fantasy and light on deep knowledge of who they really are. Love, as researchers describe it, also includes intimacy and commitment: you know the person, warts and all, and you keep choosing them. Infatuation can grow into love, but it does not always, and that is completely normal.
Can this test tell me if I am really in love?
Not on its own. It can show you which ingredients of love seem strongest for you right now, which is genuinely useful for reflection. But love is personal and unfolding, and only you can decide what your feelings mean. Treat the result as a thoughtful prompt, not a final answer.
Is it normal for passion to fade?
Yes, and it is one of the most well-documented findings in relationship science. Passionate love tends to be most intense early and then mellows into companionate love, the steady warmth and attachment of a shared life. A drop in fireworks is not a sign that love is gone; it often means it is maturing.
What if my result is still figuring it out?
That is an honest and common place to be, especially early on or during a confusing patch. It does not mean something is wrong with you or the relationship. Give yourself time, pay attention to how you feel when you are together and apart, and let the picture develop. Talking it through with a trusted friend or therapist can help.
Is this test a diagnosis?
No. Love is a human experience, not a medical or psychological condition, so there is nothing here to diagnose. This is an educational, reflective tool. If your feelings are causing you real distress or confusion, a licensed therapist can be a great sounding board.