Am I in Love? Quiz: See Whether Your Feelings Lean Romantic or Companionate
The Am I in Love? Quiz explores closeness, passion, and commitment using Sternberg's theory of love. Get an instant reflective profile of your feelings, with room for uncertainty.
Reviewed by Michael Callans, MSW 
Am I in Love? Quiz is a free, confidential 20-question self-assessment, based on Sternberg's triangular theory of love. It takes about 6 minutes, runs entirely in your browser, and gives you a plain-language profile of your strongest style plus an optional in-depth report. It is an educational screening, not a diagnosis.
Love is more than one feeling
Psychologists who study love agree it is not a single switch that flips on or off. It is a blend of different ingredients that grow at different speeds. This test looks at the mix behind what you are feeling rather than forcing a simple yes or no.
Intimacy and closeness
The warmth, trust, and feeling of being deeply known that sits at the heart of lasting love. In Sternberg's model this is one of the three building blocks, and it tends to grow steadily over time.
Passion and longing
The intense pull, butterflies, and preoccupation that mark passionate love and early infatuation. Exciting and real, it usually burns hottest early and then settles, which is normal, not a warning sign.
Commitment and direction
The sense that you are choosing this person and want to keep choosing them. This is the ingredient that turns a spark into something companionate and durable.
| Feature | Typical free quiz | Psychology.com |
|---|---|---|
| Grounded in love research | Loosely | Yes, Sternberg & Hatfield |
| Separates love from infatuation | Rarely | Yes, distinct profiles |
| Recognizes companionate love | No | Yes, as its own result |
| Allows for still figuring it out | No | Yes, an honest fourth option |
| Warm, non-leading items | Often leading | Yes, agreement format |
| Clinician-reviewed language | Rarely | Yes, reviewed |
| Confidential (no data sent) | Often tracked | Runs in your browser |
The 4 patterns this test measures
- Deep romantic love: Intimacy, passion, and commitment all present; you know them and keep choosing them.
- Infatuation / limerence: Intense passion and longing, lighter on deep knowing; the early, electric stage.
- Comfortable companionate attachment: Deep warmth, trust, and security; quieter passion, strong commitment.
- Still figuring it out: Mixed or developing feelings; the honest, common place of not yet knowing.
If nothing is endorsed, every pattern scores the same, or the leading patterns tie, the result says so instead of naming a single pattern.
Am I in Love or Just Obsessed? Understanding Limerence
The Am I in Love? Test helps you reflect on your feelings; it cannot establish whether you love someone. Intense preoccupation is not always a sign of healthy passion. Psychologist Dorothy Tennov described limerence as an involuntary, often anxious infatuation marked by intrusive thoughts, a craving for reciprocation, and a mood that rises and falls with the other person's attention. Limerence can feel thrilling, but it can also feel like a loss of control, and it often has more to do with uncertainty and longing than with genuinely knowing the other person.
If your result leans toward infatuation and the feeling has an edge of anxiety or obsession rather than warmth, the Limerence Test looks specifically at that pattern, including the intrusive thinking and need for reassurance that plain infatuation does not always include.
What This Result Does Not Tell You About Your Relationship
Your love profile describes a feeling, not the whole relationship. Two people can feel deep intimacy and commitment and still struggle with the everyday fit of a relationship: communication, conflict, and shared goals. Feelings are one input, not the whole verdict.
If you want to look at the wider relationship picture, the Relationship Satisfaction Test and the Compatibility Test both look beyond how you feel to how the relationship actually functions day to day. The Attachment Style Test can help explain patterns in how you connect, especially if intensity or uncertainty keeps showing up across different relationships. Once the early intensity settles, the Love Languages tool is a good way to translate warmth into everyday actions, and the Psychology.com therapist directory is there if talking to a professional feels right.
Try describing a recent interaction before interpreting the result: whether you felt heard, could disagree freely, and respected each other's boundaries. Ask what you know from shared experience and what you are hoping will become true. Your feelings cannot tell you whether the other person reciprocates, so leave room for an honest conversation without pressure to give the same answer. The Psychology.com test hub offers other self-assessments when you want to explore a related question.
How to Take the Am I in Love? Test When Feelings Are Mixed
Keep the same person in mind throughout the self-assessment. Answer from your actual interactions and present feelings, including ordinary time together. If you have mostly imagined a relationship, acknowledge what you have not yet had the chance to learn. You do not need to force a confident answer to make the exercise worthwhile.
Before starting again after a confusing result, write down what felt accurate and what did not. Repeating the quiz until it gives a preferred label does not settle the underlying question. You can use the result to start a conversation with yourself about what you want, while allowing the other person their own feelings and choices.
Methodology & sources
This test draws on two well-known strands of love research. The first is Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love (1986), which proposes that love is made of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment, and that different combinations produce different kinds of love. The second is Elaine Hatfield and Ellen Berscheid's distinction between passionate love, the intense, absorbing longing common early on, and companionate love, the deep affection and attachment that grows between people whose lives are entwined. Our items are written in plain, warm language to reflect these ideas, using a standard agreement format, and the engine sorts your answers into four reflective profiles rather than a single score.
This is offered for self-reflection and fun, not as a clinical or diagnostic instrument. Feelings change, and they often look different a month or a year from now. No quiz can tell you whether you are in love or what to do next. Only you can define what your feelings mean, and the most honest answer is sometimes that you are still finding out. Read your result as a mirror, not a verdict.
These are original reflection prompts informed by the cited frameworks, rather than an administration of a validated love scale. Research supporting a theory does not establish the accuracy of this page's profiles. The profile labels are educational descriptions without clinical cutoffs, and they cannot measure another person's feelings or predict the future of a relationship.
References
- Sternberg RJ. A Triangular Theory of Love. Psychol Rev. 1986;93(2):119-135.
- Hatfield E, Walster GW. A New Look at Love. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley; 1978.
- Hatfield E, Rapson RL. Love, Sex, and Intimacy: Their Psychology, Biology, and History. New York: HarperCollins; 1993.
- Berscheid E. Searching for the Meaning of Love. In: Sternberg RJ, Weis K, eds. The New Psychology of Love. New Haven: Yale University Press; 2006:171-183.
- Tennov D. Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. New York: Stein & Day; 1979.
Cite this source
Psychology.com. (2026, September 16). Am I in Love? Quiz. Psychology.com. https://psychology.com/tests/am-i-in-love
Am I in Love? Quiz FAQ
What is the difference between love and infatuation?
Infatuation is the early, intense, often all-consuming pull toward someone, heavy on passion and fantasy and light on deep knowledge of who they really are. Love, as researchers describe it, also includes intimacy and commitment: you know the person, warts and all, and you keep choosing them. Infatuation can grow into love, but it does not always, and that is completely normal.
Can this test tell me if I am really in love?
Not on its own. It can show you which ingredients of love seem strongest for you right now, which can be useful for reflection. But love is personal and unfolding, and only you can decide what your feelings mean. Treat the result as a thoughtful prompt, not a final answer.
Is it normal for passion to fade?
Yes, and it is one of the most well-documented findings in relationship science. Passionate love tends to be most intense early and then mellows into companionate love, the steady warmth and attachment of a shared life. A drop in fireworks is not a sign that love is gone; it often means it is maturing. People differ, and a change in desire deserves attention if it worries you or feels connected to distance, conflict, or pressure.
What if my result is still figuring it out?
That is an honest and common place to be, especially early on or during a confusing patch. It does not mean something is wrong with you or the relationship. Give yourself time, pay attention to how you feel when you are together and apart, and let the picture develop. Talking it through with a trusted friend or therapist can help.
Is this test a diagnosis?
No. Love is a human experience, not a medical or psychological condition, so there is nothing here to diagnose. This is an educational, reflective tool. If your feelings are causing you real distress or confusion, a licensed therapist can be a great sounding board.
Is limerence the same thing as being in love?
Not exactly. Limerence describes an intense, often anxious infatuation with racing thoughts and a strong need for reciprocation, while love as researchers define it also includes intimacy and commitment that build over time. Limerence can be the opening chapter of love, but on its own it is closer to infatuation with an anxious edge.
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