The Stages of Grief: Five Stages That Don't Follow One Fixed Order or Timeline
A gentle guide to the five stages many people associate with grief, and the important truth that grief does not follow a fixed order or timeline.
Reviewed by Michael Callans, MSW 
About this tool
The five stages of grief come from On Death and Dying, the 1969 book by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She first described denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance based on her work with terminally ill patients facing their own deaths. Over time the framework was widely applied to bereavement and loss of all kinds, and it became one of the most recognized ideas in popular psychology.
It is worth being clear about what these stages are and are not. They are a helpful language for naming the messy, sometimes contradictory feelings that loss stirs up. They are not a sequence you pass through in order, a timeline you are supposed to keep to, or a test you can pass or fail. Many grieving people never experience all five, experience them out of order, or cycle through several in a single day. Kubler-Ross herself later wrote that the stages were never meant to tuck messy emotions into neat packages.
Modern grief research supports a far more individual picture. Studies find no fixed order, no required set of stages, and no normal length of time. Grief tends to come in waves that soften gradually rather than ending on a deadline. The goal is not to reach acceptance and be done, but to slowly carry the loss in a way that lets life hold meaning again.
If a particular stage describes how you feel right now, let it. If none of them fit, that is just as normal. There is no wrong way to grieve, and there is no schedule you are behind on.
This explainer applies to grief from any significant loss, not only the death of a person. Divorce, job loss, a miscarriage, the loss of a pet, or a major health diagnosis can all trigger a similar grief response, and the same caution about non-linear stages applies to any of them.
The stages model is often misapplied. It gets used to judge how someone else is grieving, as in the idea that a person should be in acceptance by now, or to treat normal reactions that do not fit neatly into one of the five categories as a problem. Grief researcher George Bonanno has found that many bereaved people show resilience without passing through distinct stages at all. The framework works best as a set of feelings to recognize in yourself, not a checklist to apply to yourself or anyone else.
References
- Kubler-Ross E. On Death and Dying. Macmillan; 1969.
- Kubler-Ross E, Kessler D. On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. Scribner; 2005.
- Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K. Cautioning health-care professionals: Bereaved persons are misguided through the stages of grief. Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4):455-473.
- Maciejewski PK, Zhang B, Block SD, Prigerson HG. An empirical examination of the stage theory of grief. JAMA. 2007;297(7):716-723.
- Bonanno GA. The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss. Basic Books; 2009.
Cite this source
Psychology.com. (2026, September 15). The Stages of Grief. Psychology.com. https://psychology.com/tools/stages-of-grief
The Stages of Grief FAQ
What are the five stages of grief?
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The model comes from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. It is a helpful way to name feelings, not a fixed sequence everyone moves through.
Do the stages of grief happen in order?
No. This is the most common misunderstanding. Grief is not linear. You may feel the stages out of order, skip some, feel several at once, or return to one you thought had passed. All of that is normal.
How long does grief last?
There is no set timeline, and no point by which you are supposed to be over it. Grief tends to come in waves that gradually soften, but it can resurface around anniversaries and milestones for years. Everyone grieves at their own pace.
Is it normal not to feel all five stages?
Yes, completely. Many grieving people never experience all five, and some experience none of them in this form. The stages are a rough map, not a requirement. There is no wrong way to grieve.
When should I seek help for grief?
Consider reaching out to a doctor or grief therapist if, many months on, the pain is not easing at all, you cannot function day to day, or you have thoughts of harming yourself or not wanting to be here.
Are there 7 stages of grief instead of 5?
Some later adaptations expanded Kubler-Ross's original five stages to seven, adding shock and testing as separate steps before acceptance. Both versions describe similar territory: numbness, pain, adjustment, and eventually re-engaging with life. The exact number of stages matters far less than recognizing that grief takes the shape it takes for you, not a fixed script.