Continuing Bonds Worksheet: Keep a Loving Connection After Loss
This gentle worksheet is for anyone grieving who wants to keep a loving connection with the person they lost. Work through simple prompts to shape that bond into its new, changed form.
Reviewed by Michael Callans, MSW 
About this tool
For a long time, popular advice told grieving people they needed to let go, achieve closure, and move on. In 1996, researchers Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman challenged that idea with a concept they called continuing bonds. Studying bereaved children, widows, and others, they found that healthy grievers did not sever their connection to the person who died. Instead, they redefined it and carried it forward.
Continuing bonds can look like many things: talking to the person, keeping a meaningful object, marking their birthday, asking yourself what they would say, passing on their values, or simply sensing their presence at times. These are not signs of denial or being stuck. For most people they are a normal, comforting part of grieving that can last a lifetime.
This reframes the goal of grief. The task is not to get over the loss or to stop loving the person. It is to transform the relationship from one of physical presence into one of inner connection and memory, so the bond can travel with you as life moves on. Continuing bonds sit comfortably alongside the rest of grieving, including the deep sadness, because grief is not linear and love does not end on a schedule.
One gentle caveat: a continuing bond is healthy when it brings comfort and meaning over time. If a connection keeps you locked in unrelenting pain or stops you from re-engaging with life at all, that is worth talking through with a grief counselor. This worksheet is meant to help you build the comforting kind.
There is no scoring here, and that is intentional. What you write is meant to become something you return to: a page you reread on a hard anniversary, or a set of rituals you actually use rather than just intend to. If you find the prompts bring up mostly pain with little comfort, or you struggle to write anything at all, that is useful information too. It may mean the loss is still very raw, or that grief counseling could help you get to a place where a continuing bond feels possible. You can search Psychology.com's therapist directory for someone who specializes in grief.
References
- Klass D, Silverman PR, Nickman SL, eds. Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief. Taylor & Francis; 1996.
- Klass D, Steffen EM, eds. Continuing Bonds in Bereavement: New Directions for Research and Practice. Routledge; 2018.
- Worden JW. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. 5th ed. Springer; 2018.
Cite this source
Psychology.com. (2026, September 14). Continuing Bonds Worksheet. Psychology.com. https://psychology.com/tools/continuing-bonds
Continuing Bonds Worksheet FAQ
What are continuing bonds in grief?
The idea, introduced by Klass, Silverman, and Nickman in 1996, that healthy grievers keep a connection with the person who died rather than letting go. The bond changes from physical presence to inner connection and memory, and can last a lifetime.
Isn't grief supposed to be about letting go and moving on?
That was the older view, and research has largely moved past it. For most people, keeping a loving, changed connection is a normal and comforting part of grieving, not a sign of being stuck.
Can a continuing bond ever be unhealthy?
It is healthy when it brings comfort and meaning over time. If a connection keeps you in constant pain or prevents you from re-engaging with life, it is worth talking through with a grief counselor.
Is my worksheet saved anywhere?
No. Everything stays in your browser and nothing is uploaded. The PDF is generated on your own device, so your reflections stay private.
Is continuing bonds the same as complicated or prolonged grief?
No. Continuing bonds describes a normal, comforting connection most bereaved people keep with someone they lost. Complicated or prolonged grief is a distinct pattern where intense yearning and difficulty functioning persist for many months and interfere with daily life, and it usually calls for professional support.
Does continuing bonds work for sudden or traumatic loss?
Yes, though it often takes longer to feel comforting rather than painful after a sudden or traumatic death. Many people start with smaller steps, like keeping an object or marking a date, before dialogue-based practices like writing or speaking to the person feel possible.