Too often we take care of other people’s needs, shunning activities that have the most meaning for us. Here are 10 ways to take back your life.

1. Create goals. Get clear on what you really want, write it down and start to take action toward your goals.

1. Commit to your own agenda. As much as possible, before helping others each day, complete the tasks that move you toward your goals.
2. Set boundaries. When you heed your own agenda, you will likely need to set boundaries with the people in your life.
3. Say no when you want to. Respecting your true desires is liberating.
4. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Fulfilling long-held wishes brings joy and empowerment.
5. Seek balance. Which of these aspects need attention: social/family, spiritual/creative, career or health?
6. Eat well and exercise. Take charge of your energy by treating your body well.
7. Clear clutter. Creating an orderly and beautiful physical environment positively affects our sense of internal order and makes space for the new.
8. Pursue completion. Avoiding unfinished tasks, things that remain unsaid and relationships that need closure, hijacks our thoughts and saps our energy.
9. Get support/find allies. Get help processing uncomfortable feelings and seek friendships with people who appreciate and support your taking charge of your life

Ilona Tobin has been a psychologist and a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years in Birmingham, Michigan. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory.

Heather, a baker for a catering company, began having issues with one of her co-workers after he bulldozed over her experience and capability in the kitchen. After her resentment had built up to a nearly unmanageable level, she called for a meeting, during which she explained to him how she was feeling.
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Ilona Tobin has been a psychologist and a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years in Birmingham, Michigan. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory.

We all experience a variety of moods, including happiness, sadness, anger and frustration. Having “good” moods, “bad” moods and fluctuations in moods is an inevitable part of life.

But when a person experiences extreme emotional highs (mania) followed by extreme lows (depression) and these fluctuations severely and negatively impact how they behave and function in their daily lives, a mood disorder could be the underlying cause. Read the rest of this entry »

Ilona Tobin has been a psychologist and a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years in Birmingham, Michigan. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory.

“I love you. You…you complete me.” From the film Jerry Maguire.

Whether this quote melts your heart at the thought of such commitment or makes you cringe at the idea of a power imbalance, the fact is, we all relate to people in different ways. Read the rest of this entry »

Ilona Tobin has been a psychologist and a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years in Birmingham, Michigan. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory.

Joyce always expects the unexpected when it comes to her 8-year old son Milo. Within seconds, he can go from sweet-tempered and happy into a vicious tantrum. She’s grown overwhelmed by phone calls from teachers, relaying how Milo hit another child in class or got into a fight on the playground. Read the rest of this entry »

Ilona Tobin has been a psychologist and a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years in Birmingham, Michigan. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory.

Common symptoms of anxiety include racing heartbeat and butterflies in your stomach. However, anxiety can present itself in numerous ways.

1. Constant worries/dread. You feel anxious nearly all the time, although you may not know why. To help reduce anxiety and stress, aim for 30 minutes of aerobic exercise on most days.

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Ilona Tobin has been a psychologist and a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years in Birmingham, Michigan. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory.

Mary felt like a prisoner to her fear of burning her house down.

Despite having never left the stove on, Mary was convinced that if she left the house without checking the stove three times, her house would catch fire. If she left the house and forgot to check, or couldn’t remember if she had, she would turn the car around and come back. Read the rest of this entry »

Ilona Tobin has been a psychologist and a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years in Birmingham, Michigan. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory.

Teens experience grief differently than a child or adults. Although an adolescent may understand death, in contrast to adults, he/she may have less ability to cope because of intense, emotional responses. They often feel overwhelmed by their emotions, depressed, angry, and fearful of the future.

There is also an increase in  suicides among teenagers to-day and they may not know how to cope with the death of their own peers. They may see suicide as a way to cope with their own problems and They needs someone to model a healthy reaction and to explain that suicide is not a  solution as there is always another way to solve a problem. Read the rest of this entry »

Margaret Conry, MFT is a therapist in private practice in San Ramon, California. For more information, please visit his listing on the Therapist Directory.

DEALING WITH TEENAGERS

Are you kidding me? You didn’t do anything for your project and its due tomorrow? What were you thinking?

Nate, please shut off the computer. You have been on it now for the past three hours.

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Mike Hessdorf, LCSW is a practicing psychotherapist for over 20 years. His practice consists of working with teen and adults. He sees patients individually and in groups. He also has two teenage children that are wonderful and at times, maddening. Feel free to call him for a consultation @ 973-378-5804 or visit his Therapist Directory Listing

“Loneliness,” writes Abigail Van Buren, “is the ultimate poverty.”

As humans we are social beings, but sometimes we lose touch with that social part of ourselves—or we don’t have enough chances to exercise it. When this happens, we may feel lonely and isolated.

What Loneliness Is—and Isn’t

Loneliness is the feeling that we would like more connection, community and companionship than we think we have.

The curious thing about feeling lonely is that it has roots in a measurement. When we feel lonely, we are measuring the amount of social interaction we have against our ideal of desire for how much we would like to have. That “ideal” differs with each individual and can change over time.
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Ilona Tobin has been a psychologist and a marriage and family therapist for more than 25 years in Birmingham, Michigan. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory.