The seagull realized with terror that he had misjudged his landing place. He tottered lopsidedly in the busy intersection as he dragged one wing. He hadn’t meant to land here, but it was all the farther he could go. As he stared into the shiny metallic grills and the black treaded tires directly in front of him, he saw his situation was hopeless. He seemed to perceptibly gather himself together and hunker down, making himself as small as he possibly could. The light turned green, and in a slow-motion instant, all that was visible were feathers floating among the cars.

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Sandra Lee Blood is licensed professional counselor with offices in Naperville and Lake Zurich, Illinois. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory

Most of the time I’m all about finding creative solutions, persisting at what you love to do, and trying to remember that life does not only dole out bad news. This month, however, I succumbed to self-pity and a feeling of doom. Two members of my family received some very bad and very serious medical news, and that, on top of everything else, led me to feel “What’s the use?”

Unlike some I’ve known who wish they could just check into a psychiatric hospital for a few days to regroup, that was most definitely not my wish. Having worked in a psychiatric hospital, I know that all instruments of possible harm, including shoelaces, tweezers, and pens are confiscated, as the staff focuses on keeping patients from harming themselves or others. Patients are kept behind locked doors and are usually surrounded by others who are in more distress than one could possibly imagine. No, a psychiatric hospital would not do it for me.

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Ruth Gordon is licensed clinical social worker in both Massachusetts and Florida. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory. This article may not be reprinted, reproduced, or retransmitted in whole or in part without the express written consent of the author.

Connection is the reward of relationships. Once called intimacy, connection is simply the emotional depth on which people relate. One of our deepest needs as human beings is to know and be known. The extent to which this occurs in your relationships can greatly affect your sense of well-being.

Many things prevent connection: unintentional drift through busyness and commitments; avoidance due to the fear of getting too close; inability or lack of desire to resolve conflicts that arise; prior unresolved hurtful relationships; lack of empathy; feeling unsafe, particularly if previous disclosures are brought up as weapons in a later conversation; to name a few.
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Sandra Lee Blood is licensed professional counselor with offices in Naperville and Lake Zurich, Illinois. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory

Anger makes us uncomfortable. When you saw the title of this piece, you may not have wanted to read further. People would rather do almost anything else than admit directly to someone they are angry. It confronts us with the reality of what we’re feeling. Anger can bring a sense of not being in control. If we say, “I’m angry,” it conveys we’re at Level 10. The level where reason seldom dwells. If we speak to someone in that state, there is no telling where things will wind up. So, in a sense, we think anger is a secret emotion. But anger seeps through nonverbal communication.

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Sandra Lee Blood is licensed professional counselor with offices in Naperville and Lake Zurich, Illinois. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory

My experience and attitude towards frustration has been a life long concern for me. For a long time, into my thirties, I of course, knew what frustration was and how it felt. However, when caught up in it I felt it impossible to do any thing about it except to react as if I was drowning in an emotional flood unable to hold onto anything substantial. During these “frustration attacks” I would lose whatever center I had, often lashing out in anger, or withdrawing either literally or physically from the scene of the moment or cutting myself off emotionally by numbing my feelings.

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Gibbs Alan Williams has been a psychotherapist for more than 25 years. He currently practices in New York City. For more information, please visit his listing on the Therapist Directory.

Let’s first define the word forgiveness. Webster defines forgiveness as: “to pardon; to give up resentment of; to cease to feel resentment against”. I also define it as “letting go; releasing oneself, emotionally from a negative experience in your life”. The words may sound relatively easy, it’s the actions of “giving up, releasing, and/or ceasing” that cause people the most difficulty. Forgiveness is NOT just about when others hurt us, it is also about when we have hurt someone else. Your work today is in two parts: first is about forgiving others, and the second is about forgiving yourself.

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Loren Gelberg-Goff is licensed clinical social worker in River Edge, New Jersey. For more information, please visit her listing on the Therapist Directory.

You’ve met the person of your dreams. It feels so good to be in love and now you are married to this person. Time has gone by and marriage has been good to you, so you thought. You begin to notice some different behaviors from your spouse which at first you ignore. For a while you begin to wonder if something is going on with your spouse, but you brush it off. After all, the last thing you could ever imagine is that your spouse is having an affair. You don’t even want to go there. You begin to piece some things together and your spouse denies everything until the day comes when your spouse gets caught in all his/her lies.
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Dr. Eileen Borris is in private practice in Paradise Valley, Arizona. She is a author of the book "Finding Forgiveness". Dr. Borris can be reached for consultation, see her listing on the Therapist Directory for more information.

For many teens ending a four-year high school career and entering college is an exciting time.  They tend to view this as an ending of their youth and the beginning of their adult lives.  It is a long awaited freedom from the rules and restrictions set by parents and teachers.   Many young adults welcome and thrive with this new sense of control over their own lives.  However, it is worthwhile for both the parent and the student to keep in mind that this autonomy brings responsibility, and responsibility often leads to stress.

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Judy Callans is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Northfield, Illinois. She is a founding member of Psychology.com. Judy can be reached for consultation in her office or online. See http://www.psychology.com/therapist/judycallans for more information.