Connection is the reward of relationships. Once called intimacy, connection is simply the emotional depth on which people relate. One of our deepest needs as human beings is to know and be known. The extent to which this occurs in your relationships can greatly affect your sense of well-being.

Many things prevent connection: unintentional drift through busyness and commitments; avoidance due to the fear of getting too close; inability or lack of desire to resolve conflicts that arise; prior unresolved hurtful relationships; lack of empathy; feeling unsafe, particularly if previous disclosures are brought up as weapons in a later conversation; to name a few.

Difficulties in relationships are normal. If occasional disagreements don’t arise between people, someone is likely holding back to keep the peace. So, as with many things, it isn’t that problems come up, it’s how they are dealt with. For instance, one of the cardinal rules in therapy is if there is anger in the room, there is no point in talking about anything else until the anger is resolved because it won’t be heard. Many people don’t view a break in connection as motivation to resolve an argument. But something precious has been lost.

Sometimes people need to be interpreted to each other. Folks get stuck and the impasse seems impossible to navigate. Enter the therapist. When a therapist can listen to both sides objectively, s/he can phrase things in a different light or find common ground. Conflict resolution can be taught. A sense of connection restored. And that is, as they say, priceless.

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 at 8:04 am and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.