Joyce always expects the unexpected when it comes to her 8-year old son Milo. Within seconds, he can go from sweet-tempered and happy into a vicious tantrum. She’s grown overwhelmed by phone calls from teachers, relaying how Milo hit another child in class or got into a fight on the playground. (more…)

The arrival of a baby is a powerful event that brings permanent changes to the life of the couple. Parenthood can affect the perception of one’s self, one’s partner, other relationships, and the world in general. The awareness of being totally responsible for the life of a helpless infant is an awesome, and often frightening, realization. Whether or not this is the couple’s first baby, planned or unplanned, its arrival is always a time of transition and possible crisis.
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Adolescence is a time of change. Of primary importance to adolescents is their developing independence and autonomy, being heard, their friends, and their developing interests. For example, my neighbor’s fourteen year-old son is a drummer. She reports how there are times she feels he lives and breathes for his drums, and how when he is playing, nothing else matters. He has his moments of being self involved, where it is as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist. However, when a social opportunity is offered to him, he will compromise what he is doing as that social world is of utmost importance to him.

She also describes how in the midst of this burgeoning independence, there comes moodiness and volatility. One moment he appears to be calm, and settled and peaceful. He is happy to be part of the family. Another moment, he cannot tolerate the sight of his sibling or parents, and wants to get as far away as possible. It’s as if he fears he will be engulfed by these beings that are in a sense “cramping his style.” There are times he describes that he doesn’t know what he feels. Her descriptions sound like he may experience his inner moods like Chicago weather; volatile and forever shifting from sun to wind to snow, and on from there.

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